Yesterday was a day all about bushes, shrubbery and hedges. Yesterday we had a bit of a traumatic time which involved the afore mentioned greenery.
Yesterday was a sunny day. Yesterday was a day I will remember for a long time.
As yesterday was a day for both Thing 1 & Thing 2 to be at school all day, it was a manic morning of two lunches being made, all three Things breakfasted, dressed and Clean in the tooth. And finally a hurried rush out of the door where all three Things, changing bags, lunch bags, book bags, forest bags, PE bags, handbags and me, bottle-necked in a messy scrum to get outside first. We all eventually fell out of the building we like to call home and average,rather than epic, chaos resumed. Pram was loaded with said bags, leaving just enough room for Thing 3 and we set off along the one long hilly road to school.
We hadn't been walking long when something flapping in the bushes caught my attention. I looked, I saw. I screeched at the Things to look away, cover their eyes. It looked like someone had been collecting page 3 of a particular publication of the newspaper variety, for about a decade, finally got bored and dumped it in the bushes. There were boobs everywhere. Boobs in pairs, boobs in quadruplet... I swiftly crossed those Things to the other side of the road and decided to call quits to the game of I-spy that Thing 1 had started with the letter 'B'.
I dropped two Things at school. I did a couple of errands and then set off back along the one long hilly road to home. Thing 3 was grumpy. I gave her my keys. She played with them happily for about ten minutes. We turned a corner. She looked at me with a determined stare and without breaking that gaze, she flung my keys plain out of the pram. They soared into the shrubbery. I called her a bad baby. She called me a bad baby. I turned to retrieve my keys. I was greeted by a dead badger. Obviously road kill, hidden in the bushes.
I yelped.
Gingerly I reached for my keys. I threw them under the pram, wiped my hands on my trousers in a mini-fit of girlish hysteria and trotted home at breakneck pace, one hand on the pram, the other shielding my eyes from the surrounding greenery.
That could've been an end to it. However, on the walk back home, Thing 1 spotted the dead badger in the bush. I spent about half an hour standing by that poor dead badger explaining and justifying to Things 1 & 2 why we couldn't take it home with us.... I know, I know, I shouldn't moan. I should be grateful it was the dead badger they'd wanted to bring home and not the boobs.
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