Yesterday was a day all about bushes, shrubbery and hedges. Yesterday we had a bit of a traumatic time which involved the afore mentioned greenery.
Yesterday was a sunny day. Yesterday was a day I will remember for a long time.
As yesterday was a day for both Thing 1 & Thing 2 to be at school all day, it was a manic morning of two lunches being made, all three Things breakfasted, dressed and Clean in the tooth. And finally a hurried rush out of the door where all three Things, changing bags, lunch bags, book bags, forest bags, PE bags, handbags and me, bottle-necked in a messy scrum to get outside first. We all eventually fell out of the building we like to call home and average,rather than epic, chaos resumed. Pram was loaded with said bags, leaving just enough room for Thing 3 and we set off along the one long hilly road to school.
We hadn't been walking long when something flapping in the bushes caught my attention. I looked, I saw. I screeched at the Things to look away, cover their eyes. It looked like someone had been collecting page 3 of a particular publication of the newspaper variety, for about a decade, finally got bored and dumped it in the bushes. There were boobs everywhere. Boobs in pairs, boobs in quadruplet... I swiftly crossed those Things to the other side of the road and decided to call quits to the game of I-spy that Thing 1 had started with the letter 'B'.
I dropped two Things at school. I did a couple of errands and then set off back along the one long hilly road to home. Thing 3 was grumpy. I gave her my keys. She played with them happily for about ten minutes. We turned a corner. She looked at me with a determined stare and without breaking that gaze, she flung my keys plain out of the pram. They soared into the shrubbery. I called her a bad baby. She called me a bad baby. I turned to retrieve my keys. I was greeted by a dead badger. Obviously road kill, hidden in the bushes.
I yelped.
Gingerly I reached for my keys. I threw them under the pram, wiped my hands on my trousers in a mini-fit of girlish hysteria and trotted home at breakneck pace, one hand on the pram, the other shielding my eyes from the surrounding greenery.
That could've been an end to it. However, on the walk back home, Thing 1 spotted the dead badger in the bush. I spent about half an hour standing by that poor dead badger explaining and justifying to Things 1 & 2 why we couldn't take it home with us.... I know, I know, I shouldn't moan. I should be grateful it was the dead badger they'd wanted to bring home and not the boobs.
Thursday 28 February 2013
Tuesday 26 February 2013
Put out your hands, Things! Don't land on your faces!
'Mum, I was running.... Running so fast,I couldn't stop. I was telling myself to stop. I said; 'stop thing 1, stop!'.... But I just didn't listen to myself .... See, it's not only you I don't listen too!'
Thing 1, age 5
In the space of three months, all three Things have managed to cause themselves damage to their faces. Thing 1 was the first to take a tumble, it goes a little something like this;
We had dropped off Thing 1 at school perfectly fine, we'd had a variety of errands to run in the morning and then we had a trip to the supermarket planned for the afternoon. We were running a little later than planned and just as we left the house, school calling flashed up on my mobile screen. I cannot describe the pool of dread that forms in my stomach between seeing that number on my screen and me answering. Usually it's nothing; informing me that a planned after-school club has been cancelled or that school is closing early. But not this time. Thing 1 had had a small accident, he'd ran into a wall and stopped himself with the side of his head ... Notably his left ear. Things' dad went in to survey the damage, deemed the wee soldier fit to return to his schooling, and we continued with our planned tasks....
When I picked him up at the end of the school day I was greeted by a big purple swollen and bruised ear, with a head attached to it. Asking him what he'd done gained me the above quoted reply, apparently he was being a superhero.
The next Thing to show their face to the floor was baby Thing 3.
It was one of the first Wednesdays that both Things 1 & 2 would be spending all day in school and we had planned to take Thing 3 out for her first trip out alone without the other two. We had planned to go into Hebden Bridge. Have some lunch, browse the shops. I had been looking forward to it for weeks! We arrived at our destination, waited a little while for a parking spot, wandered to the cash machine and then decided to begin the morning with a nice cup of tea in a nice little cafe. This nice little cafe had a stone floor, and no sooner had I popped the tray of drinks onto the table than Thing 3 emitted a wail of epic proportions. She'd fallen flat onto her face on the stone floor. She cried and wailed, then wailed and cried. Blood poured from her nose. I flapped my arms about pathetically and squeaked out something incoherent about needing to get to a hospital. Things' dad told me to stop flapping and that it was just her nose. Nose swelled up to epic proportions and more blood and further crying and the executive decision was taken to take her to A&E.
we checked where the nearest one was located. It would take us a fair trip in the opposite direction of home and having experienced A&E waiting times before we were worried that we wouldn't be back in time to collect Things 1 & 2 from school. We couldn't ask for someone else to collect them if we did get delayed as we were also picking up their friends, middle one and big one. We headed back toward home and our local A&E. Thing 3 cried the entire journey, inconsolable. I cried. The journey seemed to take forever.
We arrived at A&E, Things' dad let us out of the car an he went to find a parking space. I checked Thing 3 in at the desk and then guess what she did? That wailing Thing 3 stopped wailing. She giggled, then wriggled to be put down. I put her down. She did a little dance and started running round. as we'd already checked in we had to wait to be seen, growing more and more embarrassed by the second at being there, as Thing 3 climbed on chairs and swung on chair legs, laughing and smiling.
When we finally got called through, a consultant who looked and sounded like Paul O'Grady came over, and asked a couple of questions in heavily cigarette fragranced breaths, told us she was fine and sent us on our way. I'm still asking myself if he was indeed a consultant, or someone who'd awoke that morning, thought to himself 'today I'm going to be a consultant', and sneaked on shift at our local A&E department.
Today, was Thing 2's turn. She happily skipped out of school, over the pram wheel and landed on the floor with her chin. Blood and a crying Thing 2 really makes the walk home from school feel like a real achievement; if I can deal with that, then I can deal with anything!
Incidentally, Thing 1 isn't taking any more chances with illness and injury. After informing him that his body fights off viruses and bugs, he proceeded to throw moves all the way to school that would've brought a tear of pride to the eyes of even the most hardened ninja. His body was fighting any bugs and viruses that had sneakily got inside him ...... Apparently.
Thing 1, age 5
In the space of three months, all three Things have managed to cause themselves damage to their faces. Thing 1 was the first to take a tumble, it goes a little something like this;
We had dropped off Thing 1 at school perfectly fine, we'd had a variety of errands to run in the morning and then we had a trip to the supermarket planned for the afternoon. We were running a little later than planned and just as we left the house, school calling flashed up on my mobile screen. I cannot describe the pool of dread that forms in my stomach between seeing that number on my screen and me answering. Usually it's nothing; informing me that a planned after-school club has been cancelled or that school is closing early. But not this time. Thing 1 had had a small accident, he'd ran into a wall and stopped himself with the side of his head ... Notably his left ear. Things' dad went in to survey the damage, deemed the wee soldier fit to return to his schooling, and we continued with our planned tasks....
When I picked him up at the end of the school day I was greeted by a big purple swollen and bruised ear, with a head attached to it. Asking him what he'd done gained me the above quoted reply, apparently he was being a superhero.
The next Thing to show their face to the floor was baby Thing 3.
It was one of the first Wednesdays that both Things 1 & 2 would be spending all day in school and we had planned to take Thing 3 out for her first trip out alone without the other two. We had planned to go into Hebden Bridge. Have some lunch, browse the shops. I had been looking forward to it for weeks! We arrived at our destination, waited a little while for a parking spot, wandered to the cash machine and then decided to begin the morning with a nice cup of tea in a nice little cafe. This nice little cafe had a stone floor, and no sooner had I popped the tray of drinks onto the table than Thing 3 emitted a wail of epic proportions. She'd fallen flat onto her face on the stone floor. She cried and wailed, then wailed and cried. Blood poured from her nose. I flapped my arms about pathetically and squeaked out something incoherent about needing to get to a hospital. Things' dad told me to stop flapping and that it was just her nose. Nose swelled up to epic proportions and more blood and further crying and the executive decision was taken to take her to A&E.
we checked where the nearest one was located. It would take us a fair trip in the opposite direction of home and having experienced A&E waiting times before we were worried that we wouldn't be back in time to collect Things 1 & 2 from school. We couldn't ask for someone else to collect them if we did get delayed as we were also picking up their friends, middle one and big one. We headed back toward home and our local A&E. Thing 3 cried the entire journey, inconsolable. I cried. The journey seemed to take forever.
We arrived at A&E, Things' dad let us out of the car an he went to find a parking space. I checked Thing 3 in at the desk and then guess what she did? That wailing Thing 3 stopped wailing. She giggled, then wriggled to be put down. I put her down. She did a little dance and started running round. as we'd already checked in we had to wait to be seen, growing more and more embarrassed by the second at being there, as Thing 3 climbed on chairs and swung on chair legs, laughing and smiling.
When we finally got called through, a consultant who looked and sounded like Paul O'Grady came over, and asked a couple of questions in heavily cigarette fragranced breaths, told us she was fine and sent us on our way. I'm still asking myself if he was indeed a consultant, or someone who'd awoke that morning, thought to himself 'today I'm going to be a consultant', and sneaked on shift at our local A&E department.
Today, was Thing 2's turn. She happily skipped out of school, over the pram wheel and landed on the floor with her chin. Blood and a crying Thing 2 really makes the walk home from school feel like a real achievement; if I can deal with that, then I can deal with anything!
Incidentally, Thing 1 isn't taking any more chances with illness and injury. After informing him that his body fights off viruses and bugs, he proceeded to throw moves all the way to school that would've brought a tear of pride to the eyes of even the most hardened ninja. His body was fighting any bugs and viruses that had sneakily got inside him ...... Apparently.
Monday 25 February 2013
The distant memory that is half term; oh well, only four and a half weeks until the next school holiday
'Mum! Mum! We had to tell the class what we did over the holidays.... When it was my turn, I told them I went to the tip'
Thing 1, age 5
I know that a day in, half term should be but a distant memory however, I do still have glimmers of recollection .... I think there was a trip to nanna and grandad's, a trip to the park for a picnic, a sleepover at a friends, a day of baking in copious amounts, a day of arts and crafts on a grand scale, visiting friend and small children, nights up eating treats and watching films ...... Thing 1 comes out of school to inform me that today the entire class was asked to share what they did over the holidays.... His response 'I went to the tip' ... He did, that much is true. I can't deny him that ....
There's only another four and half week until the next school holiday ... Alas I'm off to plan lots of trips to the tip....
Thing 1, age 5
I know that a day in, half term should be but a distant memory however, I do still have glimmers of recollection .... I think there was a trip to nanna and grandad's, a trip to the park for a picnic, a sleepover at a friends, a day of baking in copious amounts, a day of arts and crafts on a grand scale, visiting friend and small children, nights up eating treats and watching films ...... Thing 1 comes out of school to inform me that today the entire class was asked to share what they did over the holidays.... His response 'I went to the tip' ... He did, that much is true. I can't deny him that ....
There's only another four and half week until the next school holiday ... Alas I'm off to plan lots of trips to the tip....
Sunday 24 February 2013
Things behaving badly
'These Things will not bite you.
They want to have fun.'
The cat in the hat, Dr Seuss, 1958
Thing 3 just bit Thing 1.... On the bottom. Thing 3 has just discovered that when she uses her teeth on other people's flesh, then 98% of the time, the 'victim' will emit a squeal or squeak of some description. This seemingly is a fun game of 'Thing entertainment'.
Poor Thing 1. He has also been subject to use as a chew toy by Thing 2 in the past. Although sometimes he has brought it on himself.
I remember a conversation that went something like this, when Thing 2 was probably of the age that Thing 3 is now;
Thing 1; 'muuuuummmmm! The baby is biting me!!!'
Me; 'well don't put your fingers in her mouth then... I've told you before'
Thing 1; 'I know. So I put my toes in her mouth and now she's biting them instead'
You see, I don't think you can ever teach a Thing.
Thing 2 was actually a bit of a pest for biting. She drew blood on me a couple of occasions. But at three years old, she is out of it... Now she goes around trying to lick people's faces.
Thing 1 was never a biter. But he was a hair puller. He also was a hair stroker. To settle himself to sleep he always wanted to play with hair, usually mine and whenever he was tired he'd play with the hair of whoever was nearest. Alas, his sweet habit also had a naughty side as when in a temper or not getting his own way, he was liable to pull hair in anger.
He's grown out of that now, I'm pleased to say. Now he just gives grumpy stares when you tell him no.
I hope Thing 3's biting habit doesn't last much longer.... Otherwise she may need to be muzzled. Looking at her sweet little smile you'd never know that she was perhaps plotting to bite your bum. I suggest never turning your back on her. Now you know. so if she gets you, then you can't say that you weren't pre-warned.
They want to have fun.'
The cat in the hat, Dr Seuss, 1958
Thing 3 just bit Thing 1.... On the bottom. Thing 3 has just discovered that when she uses her teeth on other people's flesh, then 98% of the time, the 'victim' will emit a squeal or squeak of some description. This seemingly is a fun game of 'Thing entertainment'.
Poor Thing 1. He has also been subject to use as a chew toy by Thing 2 in the past. Although sometimes he has brought it on himself.
I remember a conversation that went something like this, when Thing 2 was probably of the age that Thing 3 is now;
Thing 1; 'muuuuummmmm! The baby is biting me!!!'
Me; 'well don't put your fingers in her mouth then... I've told you before'
Thing 1; 'I know. So I put my toes in her mouth and now she's biting them instead'
You see, I don't think you can ever teach a Thing.
Thing 2 was actually a bit of a pest for biting. She drew blood on me a couple of occasions. But at three years old, she is out of it... Now she goes around trying to lick people's faces.
Thing 1 was never a biter. But he was a hair puller. He also was a hair stroker. To settle himself to sleep he always wanted to play with hair, usually mine and whenever he was tired he'd play with the hair of whoever was nearest. Alas, his sweet habit also had a naughty side as when in a temper or not getting his own way, he was liable to pull hair in anger.
He's grown out of that now, I'm pleased to say. Now he just gives grumpy stares when you tell him no.
I hope Thing 3's biting habit doesn't last much longer.... Otherwise she may need to be muzzled. Looking at her sweet little smile you'd never know that she was perhaps plotting to bite your bum. I suggest never turning your back on her. Now you know. so if she gets you, then you can't say that you weren't pre-warned.
Saturday 23 February 2013
Three Things get crafty ....
Who thought it was good to let Things 3, 1 & 2,
get out the glitter, the paints and the glue?
Thing 3 licked the paintbrush, then ate the clay,
Why didn't I just get their toys out for play?
Paint water on the floor, handprints on the chairs,
And a nice trail of glitter right up the stairs.
We made lots of stuff, had lots of fun,
I shan't lie though, I was quite relieved once we'd done.
The Things slept soundly the whole night though,
So I guess for art & craft, it's get set go!
By Things' mum, age unknown
I decided to have a crafts day with the Things. We had boxes of craft projects, that had been received at Christmas, to work our way through and we had lots of paint and glitter.
I let the Things choose what they wanted to do first; clay aliens. They rolled and squished the coloured clay, they fought over the coloured clay, Thing 3 ate the coloured clay .... But most importantly, they had fun and we did end up with some quite impressive clay aliens at the end of it. And Thing 3 is still with us two days later, so I'm now convinced that the clay was non-toxic.
Before I'd even cleared away the remnants of clay from the table, Three Things were excitedly tearing into more boxes of projects. We had scraper board dinosaurs to decorate .... With only the one scraper in the box, which, being the largest thing, Thing 1 bagsied first..... Thing 2 got the tube of glitter glue.... Thing 3 ran off with the ribbons ....
All the while Thing 1 used the scraper, Thing 2 wailed that she needed the scraper. Then they traded. All the while Thing 1 used the glitter glue, Thing 2 wailed that she needed the glitter glue. Googley eyes were stuck on with haste, one unfortunate dinosaur ended up with his eye stuck on his bottom, and I made the Things take a snack break. Cookies and juice all round. And I breathed.
Before you could even say the words; 'cookies and juice', Those three things were ready to go again. Thing 3 had rejoined us, bouncing up and down on a chair... Incidentally, I never did find those ribbons she ran off with.
It was with unanimous Thing 'yays' rather than 'nays' that I was summoned to get paints and canvas out for them. All armed with a canvas, a paintbrush and a cup of water ... I rather reluctantly placed a palette of various hues of paint in front of them.
All started well. Thing 3 cleverly following the other twos lead. Gently dipping her paintbrush into the paint, then splatting it onto the canvas.... Then she accidentally caught her fingers in the paint, quickly realised paint could be transferred at greater speed from palette to painting by hand and so she proceeded to splat her hands into the paints and then smack them onto the canvas with great delight, evident in her slightly manic giggles. This also ended up turning the carefully separated array of colours into a brownish-grey sludge-like mush of paint. And then she decided to taste it. A great big glob of the mucky looking paint was put, fistful, into Thing 3's mouth.... I moved in slow motion, the word 'no' emitted in a deep unrecognisable elongated 'noooooooooooooooo'. I was too late... It had been devoured. I'm pleased to confirm that this paint must also be non-toxic!
Paints cleared up and time to make snow globes. We made clay figures and placed them on the domes base. I made up Thing 3's as she was too busy trying to eat yet more clay. We added the glitter, things 1 & 2 were insistent in doing their own, adamant about adding too much glitter and then glowing with pride at the fact they could no longer see their clay model inside once it was complete for the mass amounts of glitter. Apparently that was their intention.
We had one more make for the day. To paint a teaset that thing 2 had received for Christmas. Thing 2 spent ages neatly painting the pieces she had, thing 1 announced he was painting all his pieces entirely green. And then proceeded to do so. Thing 2 threw paint water all over the floor (accidentally, of course) and Thing 3 attempted to eat a teacup. I was glad when we finished. I packed everything away and then took Things 2 & 3 out for a walk and some fresh air.
They went to sleep early and slept through the night (almost), so I guess that next school holidays we will be having another craft day .... I must be mad .... But spending a day with The Three Things would probably cause even the most hardened individual to lose a little bit of their sanity, so it's to be expected. At the end of the day, we had lots of fun, those Three Things and I... So what's a few more grey hairs compared to that feeling?
get out the glitter, the paints and the glue?
Thing 3 licked the paintbrush, then ate the clay,
Why didn't I just get their toys out for play?
Paint water on the floor, handprints on the chairs,
And a nice trail of glitter right up the stairs.
We made lots of stuff, had lots of fun,
I shan't lie though, I was quite relieved once we'd done.
The Things slept soundly the whole night though,
So I guess for art & craft, it's get set go!
By Things' mum, age unknown
I decided to have a crafts day with the Things. We had boxes of craft projects, that had been received at Christmas, to work our way through and we had lots of paint and glitter.
I let the Things choose what they wanted to do first; clay aliens. They rolled and squished the coloured clay, they fought over the coloured clay, Thing 3 ate the coloured clay .... But most importantly, they had fun and we did end up with some quite impressive clay aliens at the end of it. And Thing 3 is still with us two days later, so I'm now convinced that the clay was non-toxic.
Before I'd even cleared away the remnants of clay from the table, Three Things were excitedly tearing into more boxes of projects. We had scraper board dinosaurs to decorate .... With only the one scraper in the box, which, being the largest thing, Thing 1 bagsied first..... Thing 2 got the tube of glitter glue.... Thing 3 ran off with the ribbons ....
All the while Thing 1 used the scraper, Thing 2 wailed that she needed the scraper. Then they traded. All the while Thing 1 used the glitter glue, Thing 2 wailed that she needed the glitter glue. Googley eyes were stuck on with haste, one unfortunate dinosaur ended up with his eye stuck on his bottom, and I made the Things take a snack break. Cookies and juice all round. And I breathed.
Before you could even say the words; 'cookies and juice', Those three things were ready to go again. Thing 3 had rejoined us, bouncing up and down on a chair... Incidentally, I never did find those ribbons she ran off with.
It was with unanimous Thing 'yays' rather than 'nays' that I was summoned to get paints and canvas out for them. All armed with a canvas, a paintbrush and a cup of water ... I rather reluctantly placed a palette of various hues of paint in front of them.
All started well. Thing 3 cleverly following the other twos lead. Gently dipping her paintbrush into the paint, then splatting it onto the canvas.... Then she accidentally caught her fingers in the paint, quickly realised paint could be transferred at greater speed from palette to painting by hand and so she proceeded to splat her hands into the paints and then smack them onto the canvas with great delight, evident in her slightly manic giggles. This also ended up turning the carefully separated array of colours into a brownish-grey sludge-like mush of paint. And then she decided to taste it. A great big glob of the mucky looking paint was put, fistful, into Thing 3's mouth.... I moved in slow motion, the word 'no' emitted in a deep unrecognisable elongated 'noooooooooooooooo'. I was too late... It had been devoured. I'm pleased to confirm that this paint must also be non-toxic!
Paints cleared up and time to make snow globes. We made clay figures and placed them on the domes base. I made up Thing 3's as she was too busy trying to eat yet more clay. We added the glitter, things 1 & 2 were insistent in doing their own, adamant about adding too much glitter and then glowing with pride at the fact they could no longer see their clay model inside once it was complete for the mass amounts of glitter. Apparently that was their intention.
We had one more make for the day. To paint a teaset that thing 2 had received for Christmas. Thing 2 spent ages neatly painting the pieces she had, thing 1 announced he was painting all his pieces entirely green. And then proceeded to do so. Thing 2 threw paint water all over the floor (accidentally, of course) and Thing 3 attempted to eat a teacup. I was glad when we finished. I packed everything away and then took Things 2 & 3 out for a walk and some fresh air.
They went to sleep early and slept through the night (almost), so I guess that next school holidays we will be having another craft day .... I must be mad .... But spending a day with The Three Things would probably cause even the most hardened individual to lose a little bit of their sanity, so it's to be expected. At the end of the day, we had lots of fun, those Three Things and I... So what's a few more grey hairs compared to that feeling?
Wednesday 20 February 2013
Baking up a storm, Thing style
At Thing central, in Rossendale heart,
Three little Things awoke with a start,
Today was the day to cook biscuits and cakes,
Brownies and cookies and all kinds of makes,
So what if its 4? so what if its dark?
This baking business is a no nonsense lark!
Lie-ins are for others, not Things' mum and Things,
And imagine the energy eating sugar snacks brings!
Into the kitchen to mix it all up,
Then whilst they are waiting, the Things read a book.
Ping goes the oven, the bakes are all done,
Time to add icing and frost every one.
Later we'll sit down, tea party of fun,
All of us, happy, three Things and Thing's mum.
A poem by Things' mum, age unknown
We spent the day in the kitchen. The things baked up a storm and by the end of the day we had;
• 12 raspberry and chocolate muffins
• 9 cookie dough chocolate brownies
• 12 heart cookies
• 15 shortbread dinosaurs and stars
It was fantastic! The Things were on their best behaviours, albeit totally hyper from the sugar rush that comes from licking out a bowl of vanilla cake mix, icing, chocolate brownie .....
We only stopped for lunch and a quick catch up on what was happening in cbeebies land (mr bloom and a veggie went for a walk somewhere and mr Tumble failed to actually tumble) .....
It wasn't until all the baking was done that things started to go sour between Thing 2 and Thing one;
Thing 1 pushed Thing 2, Thing 2 bit Thing 1. So Thing 1 thwacked Thing 2 in the eye, at which point Thing 2 scratched Thing 1.... All the while being cheered on by a highly entertained Thing 3.
I asked them to stop. I forced them apart. Thing 1 then hit Thing 2 again so I sent him to the naughty Thing step.
I left Things 2 and 3 infront of the telly whilst I went to check on dinner, when presently I was accosted by thing two... We had a conversation that went a little something like this;
Thing 2; 'mum, I've come out of the corner, I'm sorry'
Me; I didn't send you to the corner, sweetheart
Thing 2; 'I was naughty .... I sat in the other corner'
Me; you didn't need to though, princess
Thing 2; (shouting and feet stamping) 'I WAS NAUGHTY... I'M GOING BACK TO THE CORNER ..... ARGHHHHH!'
As you can imagine, bedtime couldn't some quickly enough! Things were best friends again, Thing's mum was frazzled and to top it all, Thing 2 chose 'fox in socks' As the bedtime story ..... Those familiar will understand why this brought further dread to my already aching head .... Those who don't understand, relish in your ignorance .... Lets just say, if a tweetle Beatle is battling with a paddle in a puddle in a bottle on a poodle eating noodles, near you, you may want to just look away now and pretend it never happened. I've yet to unknot my tongue.
At least the things had fun .... They made lots of treats. I am now wide awake at bedtime, but at least I have lots Of cake and sweet stuff to snack on!
And tomorrow is another day as they say .... Oh, indeed it is .... Tomorrow at Thing central is ARTS & CRAFTS Day. .......
Three little Things awoke with a start,
Today was the day to cook biscuits and cakes,
Brownies and cookies and all kinds of makes,
So what if its 4? so what if its dark?
This baking business is a no nonsense lark!
Lie-ins are for others, not Things' mum and Things,
And imagine the energy eating sugar snacks brings!
Into the kitchen to mix it all up,
Then whilst they are waiting, the Things read a book.
Ping goes the oven, the bakes are all done,
Time to add icing and frost every one.
Later we'll sit down, tea party of fun,
All of us, happy, three Things and Thing's mum.
A poem by Things' mum, age unknown
We spent the day in the kitchen. The things baked up a storm and by the end of the day we had;
• 12 raspberry and chocolate muffins
• 9 cookie dough chocolate brownies
• 12 heart cookies
• 15 shortbread dinosaurs and stars
It was fantastic! The Things were on their best behaviours, albeit totally hyper from the sugar rush that comes from licking out a bowl of vanilla cake mix, icing, chocolate brownie .....
We only stopped for lunch and a quick catch up on what was happening in cbeebies land (mr bloom and a veggie went for a walk somewhere and mr Tumble failed to actually tumble) .....
It wasn't until all the baking was done that things started to go sour between Thing 2 and Thing one;
Thing 1 pushed Thing 2, Thing 2 bit Thing 1. So Thing 1 thwacked Thing 2 in the eye, at which point Thing 2 scratched Thing 1.... All the while being cheered on by a highly entertained Thing 3.
I asked them to stop. I forced them apart. Thing 1 then hit Thing 2 again so I sent him to the naughty Thing step.
I left Things 2 and 3 infront of the telly whilst I went to check on dinner, when presently I was accosted by thing two... We had a conversation that went a little something like this;
Thing 2; 'mum, I've come out of the corner, I'm sorry'
Me; I didn't send you to the corner, sweetheart
Thing 2; 'I was naughty .... I sat in the other corner'
Me; you didn't need to though, princess
Thing 2; (shouting and feet stamping) 'I WAS NAUGHTY... I'M GOING BACK TO THE CORNER ..... ARGHHHHH!'
As you can imagine, bedtime couldn't some quickly enough! Things were best friends again, Thing's mum was frazzled and to top it all, Thing 2 chose 'fox in socks' As the bedtime story ..... Those familiar will understand why this brought further dread to my already aching head .... Those who don't understand, relish in your ignorance .... Lets just say, if a tweetle Beatle is battling with a paddle in a puddle in a bottle on a poodle eating noodles, near you, you may want to just look away now and pretend it never happened. I've yet to unknot my tongue.
At least the things had fun .... They made lots of treats. I am now wide awake at bedtime, but at least I have lots Of cake and sweet stuff to snack on!
And tomorrow is another day as they say .... Oh, indeed it is .... Tomorrow at Thing central is ARTS & CRAFTS Day. .......
Surviving half of half term with the Things
Yesterday was a day the Things had to be good,
A bus trip,big food shop, I knew that they would.
Thing 2 was a star, watched after Thing 3,
Whilst we did all that food shop, Thing 2,3 and me.
After we unpacked food and drink galore,
Things 1,2&3 took a seat on the floor,
Much happy for movie day, three of a kind,
Sat nicely and watched 'Hop' and then 'Megamind'.
Ate Special treat Easter eggs, only one pound!
Kept them still seated there, quiet on the ground,
Later on had a huge bubble bath and said;
'We Things love Thing mum, but now we're off to bed'
A poem by Things' mum, age unknown
The half term started positively enough. The Things being friends with one another. Now that is the kind of Thing behaviour I like!
Saturday began in a chaotic but pleasant fashion with Things happily removing every single play item from its home and turning the living room into something resembling ... Well, an explosion in Toys r' us, to put it bluntly. Saturday afternoon involved the Things descending on a friends' (little one, middle one and big one) house for baking fun and games. Which did keep them hugely entertained for a couple of hours. There's nothing quite like eating raw cookie dough and cake mix with friends ... I especially liked the part where Thing grandparents phoned up out of the blue to see whether Things 1 & 2 wanted to sleep over .... Yes! Yes, they definitely would, I said, without conferring with said Things first. So, upon returning to Thing central, 1 & 2 were duly packed and placed into grandparent taxi.
They returned reasonably late in the afternoon on Sunday, whereby, following squeaked greetings and flinging at them of her person by Thing 3, they pleasantly plonked themselves in front of a DVD whilst I continued with my cleaning frenzy.
Monday was a warm day. Things had been promised a picnic in the park. By time we had got ourselves organised it was getting on to 1pm and the Things were getting hungry. By the time we got to the park, the Things forgot their hunger as they were distracted by the shiny play equipment. They soon took to one particular piece of equipment.... A castle slide, where things 1 & 2 took turns to stand sentry at the top whilst the other went down the slide. I pretended I wasn't with them when they took to shouting at everyone; 'I'm the king of the castle, you're the dirty rascal'.
A mad rush back to Thing central ensued as I suddenly recalled we had to be back by 4pm as Thing 1 was being picked up to go and sleepover at the home of little one, middle one and big one. Thing 1 despatched and time to take Thing 2 for a haircut. By this point I was ready to flop onto the settee and sleep for a week, but alas, I'd promised 2 & 3 that they could make their own pizzas for tea. This wasn't as traumatic an experience as I anticipated. Thing 3 ate more of the toppings than she actually put on the pizza. But overall they had fun. It was time to call it a day when Thing 3 started licking the work surface.
I got the remaining two Things to bed and then was up until about 1am. This is where it started to go pear shaped. 2.50am and Thing 3 awoke, crying and inconsolable. I ended up hot footing it downstairs to the settee with her for fear that she'd wake Thing 2 and then if have two crying Things.
Thing 3 cried and winged until about 6:45. 7am my alarm went off. I actually resembled a zombie. 9am, on the dot, Thing 1 returned from his stay with little one, middle one and big one. Most refreshed and hyper. And I had to get organised to do a monthly food shop at the supermarket. Thing 1 said he'd stay at home with things' dad, who had conveniently picked that day to be poorly and so was only up to doing picking up duties. And so off I set with Things 2 & 3 and a walkie-talkie.
We walked into the village to get on a bus. Thing 3 was intrigued as she hasn't been on a bus since she was tiny in a pram. She explored four different seats before finding one to her liking next to the window, making herself comfortable by pressing her baby face up against the window and liking said window. All the while, Thing 2 was singing the wheels on the bus at ridiculous volumes. I couldn't wait to arrive at our destination and get off the bus. I was so eager to alight that I did so without the aforementioned walkie-talkie. Which I only realised after getting two Things across one road and half way across another. My wails of 'noooooo!' Mush have reverberated around the new town square and like a mad woman I dragged said Things back across said roads and ran like the wind back to the bus which I caught just as it was about to pull out ... The startled bus driver lady didn't have much choice as I jumped aboard and ran up the aisle, panting 'wallow-talkie'. It was sat on our recently departed seats happy as can be, I swear I saw a flash of disappointment cross its glowing screen as the realisation it wasn't off on a one walkie-talkie trek across Lancashire dawned on it.....
And that bus driver lady will be telling the tale for years of the day she was hijacked by Things accompanied by a demented looking woman with startled hair and crazy eyes.
* * *
The supermarket trip was, in comparison, a relatively somber affair. The girl Things behaved, the only hiccup being when Thing 2 insisted on hugging these hideous giant garden gnomes the supermarket had decided it a good idea to stock. I'm a little scared .... Strike that.... I'm a wee bit terrified of garden gnomes.... There's something in that joyous smile on their faces that I don't trust .... The second i turn my back on them I get the uneasy feeling they're about to run up and have a gnaw on my ankles ... These monstrosities currently stocked in the supermarket? Well, certainly they'd bite off your head! But Thing 2 liked them. And as long as they stay in the supermarket and not in my garden I can just about cope......
Things' dad picked us and the shopping up and then it was an epic task to unpack it all at Thing central. However the Things' good moods remained and they sat nicely and watched a DVD. Following a take- away tea ; by this time I was most definitely feeling that I'd been up since 3am; the Things had a lovely bubbly bath (Thing 3 screamed like she was being murdered as is the usual - the one water birth and the only one terrified of water) and went nicely to bed after a lovely dr seuss story to finish off the day; 'please remember the first of octember' .... Today we have an epic baking session planned .... Wish me luck!
A bus trip,big food shop, I knew that they would.
Thing 2 was a star, watched after Thing 3,
Whilst we did all that food shop, Thing 2,3 and me.
After we unpacked food and drink galore,
Things 1,2&3 took a seat on the floor,
Much happy for movie day, three of a kind,
Sat nicely and watched 'Hop' and then 'Megamind'.
Ate Special treat Easter eggs, only one pound!
Kept them still seated there, quiet on the ground,
Later on had a huge bubble bath and said;
'We Things love Thing mum, but now we're off to bed'
A poem by Things' mum, age unknown
The half term started positively enough. The Things being friends with one another. Now that is the kind of Thing behaviour I like!
Saturday began in a chaotic but pleasant fashion with Things happily removing every single play item from its home and turning the living room into something resembling ... Well, an explosion in Toys r' us, to put it bluntly. Saturday afternoon involved the Things descending on a friends' (little one, middle one and big one) house for baking fun and games. Which did keep them hugely entertained for a couple of hours. There's nothing quite like eating raw cookie dough and cake mix with friends ... I especially liked the part where Thing grandparents phoned up out of the blue to see whether Things 1 & 2 wanted to sleep over .... Yes! Yes, they definitely would, I said, without conferring with said Things first. So, upon returning to Thing central, 1 & 2 were duly packed and placed into grandparent taxi.
They returned reasonably late in the afternoon on Sunday, whereby, following squeaked greetings and flinging at them of her person by Thing 3, they pleasantly plonked themselves in front of a DVD whilst I continued with my cleaning frenzy.
Monday was a warm day. Things had been promised a picnic in the park. By time we had got ourselves organised it was getting on to 1pm and the Things were getting hungry. By the time we got to the park, the Things forgot their hunger as they were distracted by the shiny play equipment. They soon took to one particular piece of equipment.... A castle slide, where things 1 & 2 took turns to stand sentry at the top whilst the other went down the slide. I pretended I wasn't with them when they took to shouting at everyone; 'I'm the king of the castle, you're the dirty rascal'.
A mad rush back to Thing central ensued as I suddenly recalled we had to be back by 4pm as Thing 1 was being picked up to go and sleepover at the home of little one, middle one and big one. Thing 1 despatched and time to take Thing 2 for a haircut. By this point I was ready to flop onto the settee and sleep for a week, but alas, I'd promised 2 & 3 that they could make their own pizzas for tea. This wasn't as traumatic an experience as I anticipated. Thing 3 ate more of the toppings than she actually put on the pizza. But overall they had fun. It was time to call it a day when Thing 3 started licking the work surface.
I got the remaining two Things to bed and then was up until about 1am. This is where it started to go pear shaped. 2.50am and Thing 3 awoke, crying and inconsolable. I ended up hot footing it downstairs to the settee with her for fear that she'd wake Thing 2 and then if have two crying Things.
Thing 3 cried and winged until about 6:45. 7am my alarm went off. I actually resembled a zombie. 9am, on the dot, Thing 1 returned from his stay with little one, middle one and big one. Most refreshed and hyper. And I had to get organised to do a monthly food shop at the supermarket. Thing 1 said he'd stay at home with things' dad, who had conveniently picked that day to be poorly and so was only up to doing picking up duties. And so off I set with Things 2 & 3 and a walkie-talkie.
We walked into the village to get on a bus. Thing 3 was intrigued as she hasn't been on a bus since she was tiny in a pram. She explored four different seats before finding one to her liking next to the window, making herself comfortable by pressing her baby face up against the window and liking said window. All the while, Thing 2 was singing the wheels on the bus at ridiculous volumes. I couldn't wait to arrive at our destination and get off the bus. I was so eager to alight that I did so without the aforementioned walkie-talkie. Which I only realised after getting two Things across one road and half way across another. My wails of 'noooooo!' Mush have reverberated around the new town square and like a mad woman I dragged said Things back across said roads and ran like the wind back to the bus which I caught just as it was about to pull out ... The startled bus driver lady didn't have much choice as I jumped aboard and ran up the aisle, panting 'wallow-talkie'. It was sat on our recently departed seats happy as can be, I swear I saw a flash of disappointment cross its glowing screen as the realisation it wasn't off on a one walkie-talkie trek across Lancashire dawned on it.....
And that bus driver lady will be telling the tale for years of the day she was hijacked by Things accompanied by a demented looking woman with startled hair and crazy eyes.
* * *
The supermarket trip was, in comparison, a relatively somber affair. The girl Things behaved, the only hiccup being when Thing 2 insisted on hugging these hideous giant garden gnomes the supermarket had decided it a good idea to stock. I'm a little scared .... Strike that.... I'm a wee bit terrified of garden gnomes.... There's something in that joyous smile on their faces that I don't trust .... The second i turn my back on them I get the uneasy feeling they're about to run up and have a gnaw on my ankles ... These monstrosities currently stocked in the supermarket? Well, certainly they'd bite off your head! But Thing 2 liked them. And as long as they stay in the supermarket and not in my garden I can just about cope......
Things' dad picked us and the shopping up and then it was an epic task to unpack it all at Thing central. However the Things' good moods remained and they sat nicely and watched a DVD. Following a take- away tea ; by this time I was most definitely feeling that I'd been up since 3am; the Things had a lovely bubbly bath (Thing 3 screamed like she was being murdered as is the usual - the one water birth and the only one terrified of water) and went nicely to bed after a lovely dr seuss story to finish off the day; 'please remember the first of octember' .... Today we have an epic baking session planned .... Wish me luck!
Thursday 14 February 2013
Valentines day .... Thing style
'My mum has pink varnish,
And curly black hair.
She's very nice-ish,
And runs everywhere'
I love you
Valentines poem by Thing 1, aged 5
Oh I love Valentines .... Me and Things' dad don't really celebrate it.... We live by the old fashioned theory of 'why show your love on the day of the year commercial entities try to control you in to it' .... We live by a rule of 'a surprise should be a surprise. If I'm going to be romantic, send flowers, buy chocolates,- mix cd, a teddy bear.... It'll be when you least expect it'. I can tell you now, my surprise is going to be a whopper! 7 years awaiting and counting!!!!
This valentines, Thing 1 drew me a picture. A picture of two submarines. Nothing says 'I love you like a submarine!' . ... I did get glittery handmade cards from things 1 & 2 also... Including the poem as above .... See, I'm 'nice-ish'.
I can only be glad that I got a card for me from Thing 1 that was actually addressed to me .... Last year it was addressed to himself, but definitely for me even though it was his name .... The workings of a four year old brain.
Valentines got even better as things 1 & 2 helped unpack the shopping whereby every item they passed to me came alongside a cheery; 'happy valentines, mummy' ... So really I did exceptionally well this valentines .... I received;
2 loaves of bread
2 bottles of baby milk
A pork fillet
A packet of pepperami
A packet of ham
And a four pack of loo roll ....
Lucky lady.
Shan't complain. Obviously, my Things think I'm worth a four pack of bog roll ... That's pretty tops in my bathroom.....
And curly black hair.
She's very nice-ish,
And runs everywhere'
I love you
Valentines poem by Thing 1, aged 5
Oh I love Valentines .... Me and Things' dad don't really celebrate it.... We live by the old fashioned theory of 'why show your love on the day of the year commercial entities try to control you in to it' .... We live by a rule of 'a surprise should be a surprise. If I'm going to be romantic, send flowers, buy chocolates,- mix cd, a teddy bear.... It'll be when you least expect it'. I can tell you now, my surprise is going to be a whopper! 7 years awaiting and counting!!!!
This valentines, Thing 1 drew me a picture. A picture of two submarines. Nothing says 'I love you like a submarine!' . ... I did get glittery handmade cards from things 1 & 2 also... Including the poem as above .... See, I'm 'nice-ish'.
I can only be glad that I got a card for me from Thing 1 that was actually addressed to me .... Last year it was addressed to himself, but definitely for me even though it was his name .... The workings of a four year old brain.
Valentines got even better as things 1 & 2 helped unpack the shopping whereby every item they passed to me came alongside a cheery; 'happy valentines, mummy' ... So really I did exceptionally well this valentines .... I received;
2 loaves of bread
2 bottles of baby milk
A pork fillet
A packet of pepperami
A packet of ham
And a four pack of loo roll ....
Lucky lady.
Shan't complain. Obviously, my Things think I'm worth a four pack of bog roll ... That's pretty tops in my bathroom.....
Tuesday 12 February 2013
Pancakes? And trying to seussify Things' cousin
Things cousin came to play. He is only three month and they've probably seen him three times. Thing 1 was most excited and gutted he had to go to school. Thing 2 was more interested in her glittery shoes. Thing 3 was jealous.
Thing aunty arrived at Thing central (aka. Home) and we mono prammed it at speed to Thing school.
Said our goodbyes to Thing 1 (Thing aunty actually threw him to the floor in her over eager cuddling) and sent him on his way.
Back to mono-pramming and I was feeling rather at a disadvantage as I had a Thing 2 darting sporadically infront of the pram wheels. But even so, we got there.
I couldn't await a cuddle with thing cousin (thing nephew to me) but alas, he needed changing first. Finally got my hands on him and Thing 3, who'd been happily playing, bashing a toy phone on a toy car at the other side of the room, charged over at wobbly speed and flung herself on my lap with sticky out bottom lip and everything. Passed thing nephew back. He puked. Thing 3 had actually saved the day! Gold star for thing 3.
Thing 2 had the usual playgroup tantrum, Thing 3 spent the session being mummy possessive. It was an ordinary Tuesday ....
Finally got back to thing central, bid farewell to Thing cousin/nephew and was able to relax for ten minutes before the school run. After which I'd have time to prep myself for the onslaught of pancake making.....
After school I had three giddy things. They bounced and pranced in anticipation of pancakes. Thing 3 bounced and pranced in unison although I don't think she had a clue why.
I had been clever. I can't cook ... I bought bottles of pancake mix; 'just add water' . I just added water as per instructions ... I added to the pan.
Attempt 1: scrambled egg pancake
Attempt 2: pancake, albeit in 14 pieces
Attempt 3: burnt
Attempt 4: holes EVERYWHERE
Attempt 5: almost, a little wonky, but edible (getting somewhere)
Attempt 6: not enough mix for a pancake
Poor things. They added sugar and honey to attempt 5 and shared it between them. Next year, Things' dad is making the pancakes..... From scratch.
Thing aunty arrived at Thing central (aka. Home) and we mono prammed it at speed to Thing school.
Said our goodbyes to Thing 1 (Thing aunty actually threw him to the floor in her over eager cuddling) and sent him on his way.
Back to mono-pramming and I was feeling rather at a disadvantage as I had a Thing 2 darting sporadically infront of the pram wheels. But even so, we got there.
I couldn't await a cuddle with thing cousin (thing nephew to me) but alas, he needed changing first. Finally got my hands on him and Thing 3, who'd been happily playing, bashing a toy phone on a toy car at the other side of the room, charged over at wobbly speed and flung herself on my lap with sticky out bottom lip and everything. Passed thing nephew back. He puked. Thing 3 had actually saved the day! Gold star for thing 3.
Thing 2 had the usual playgroup tantrum, Thing 3 spent the session being mummy possessive. It was an ordinary Tuesday ....
Finally got back to thing central, bid farewell to Thing cousin/nephew and was able to relax for ten minutes before the school run. After which I'd have time to prep myself for the onslaught of pancake making.....
After school I had three giddy things. They bounced and pranced in anticipation of pancakes. Thing 3 bounced and pranced in unison although I don't think she had a clue why.
I had been clever. I can't cook ... I bought bottles of pancake mix; 'just add water' . I just added water as per instructions ... I added to the pan.
Attempt 1: scrambled egg pancake
Attempt 2: pancake, albeit in 14 pieces
Attempt 3: burnt
Attempt 4: holes EVERYWHERE
Attempt 5: almost, a little wonky, but edible (getting somewhere)
Attempt 6: not enough mix for a pancake
Poor things. They added sugar and honey to attempt 5 and shared it between them. Next year, Things' dad is making the pancakes..... From scratch.
Friday 8 February 2013
Tea partying with nursery kids and how the Things became kleptomaniacs overnight
So it was a long day extended by the fact I had to shun Thing 1's workshop (I've attended 3 up to now) to attend Thing 2's nursery tea party, scheduled by the SAME teacher for the SAME time!
The tea party was a pleasant experience. We walked in to class, thing 2 sat nicely watching the teacher, waves pleasantly as she sees us and turns back to teacher....
Thing 3 sees Thing 2 turn back nicely to face teacher and so decides to jump on thing 2 and give her a sloppy kiss......
Then Jumps on child A, child B, child C .....initiating the free for all and hence, all the children went wild!
First off we explored the classrooms. Talking about nursery rhymes and nursery rhyme characters.
There was a table set up to decorate gingerbread men at. Thing 2 went to said table, decorated a gingerbread man. Thing 3 went to said table, bit said gingerbread mans head off and then decorated if .... Eating each button as she placed it.....
Dragged them from the gingerbread table, thing 2 had a tantrum because she wanted to eat ALL the gingerbreads.
Thing 3 pooed. found quiet corner, followed by other children and parents . changed Thing 3's nappy in public.
Stayed and listened to the nursery rhymes performed by the nursery class stars whilst enjoying a piece of cake and cup of tea .... And Thing 3 mushes cake into the table and then sweeps it onto the floor. Before screeching a war cry and then running about harassing every grown up in sight.
Deep breaths ... Drama over .... Nursery left with Thing 2 and Thing 3 in tow. Collected Thing 1 and set off home.
Got home to find a puppet from nursery attached by Velcro to Thing 2's cardigan .... A little plastic knight from nursery castle in her pocket. Thing 3 had a plastic magnetic S and K in her hood .... Quite obviously the Things are turning into kleptomaniacs .....
I need to sleep and forget today .....
(See pic below for the thieving Things' bounty)
The tea party was a pleasant experience. We walked in to class, thing 2 sat nicely watching the teacher, waves pleasantly as she sees us and turns back to teacher....
Thing 3 sees Thing 2 turn back nicely to face teacher and so decides to jump on thing 2 and give her a sloppy kiss......
Then Jumps on child A, child B, child C .....initiating the free for all and hence, all the children went wild!
First off we explored the classrooms. Talking about nursery rhymes and nursery rhyme characters.
There was a table set up to decorate gingerbread men at. Thing 2 went to said table, decorated a gingerbread man. Thing 3 went to said table, bit said gingerbread mans head off and then decorated if .... Eating each button as she placed it.....
Dragged them from the gingerbread table, thing 2 had a tantrum because she wanted to eat ALL the gingerbreads.
Thing 3 pooed. found quiet corner, followed by other children and parents . changed Thing 3's nappy in public.
Stayed and listened to the nursery rhymes performed by the nursery class stars whilst enjoying a piece of cake and cup of tea .... And Thing 3 mushes cake into the table and then sweeps it onto the floor. Before screeching a war cry and then running about harassing every grown up in sight.
Deep breaths ... Drama over .... Nursery left with Thing 2 and Thing 3 in tow. Collected Thing 1 and set off home.
Got home to find a puppet from nursery attached by Velcro to Thing 2's cardigan .... A little plastic knight from nursery castle in her pocket. Thing 3 had a plastic magnetic S and K in her hood .... Quite obviously the Things are turning into kleptomaniacs .....
I need to sleep and forget today .....
(See pic below for the thieving Things' bounty)
Wednesday 6 February 2013
Snowing cat litter, fooling thieves and why a 5 year olds potential career in politics shouldn't be underestimated
Two days ago, I was awoken by an excited Thing 1: 'mum! Look outside! It's snowing cat litter!'
I did indeed look outside and I will admit that the polystyrene looking beads of snow that were falling fast and furious from the wintry sky did also resemble 'cat litter'. I am forever amazed at the workings of the five year old male's brain.
The usual school run was also called for and so all three things found themselves layered up to practically motionless status and we set off a little earlier than usual to account for the usual delay caused by 'must touch snow' syndrome. (From the Things, not myself).
It was a good job that we left the house early as the journey to school took us practically twice as long as usual. This was due to Thing 1 walking backwards and forwards, zigzagging and circling in the snow ...... As we were getting to the critical stage of actually being late for school I eventually had to ask thing 1, rather exasperatedly, what on earth he was doing. The response I got? "If a thief decides to go to our house to steal all the toys, by following our tracks in the snow, now he will get really confused" - and what do you answer to that? Really, the workings of the five year old boys mind is a mystery to me!
Yesterday he found his 'bestest toy ever' on the walk home from school ... A little yellow plastic car with no wheels - obviously the lack of wheels had been the reason for its abandonment by its previous owner. Not so for Thing 1. Indeed, Thing 1 had found a 'hover car', something apparently lacking amongst his wide collection of toys and playthings. It's now sat pride of place on the toy shelf.
This morning he woke me at about 4am with what sounded like a pre-prepared political speech; 'why Is Cbeebies not on at this time? That is very silly! I know it's early but cbeebies is for the kids and I'm a kid. And even if only one kid is awake at this time, then they should be able to watch Cbeebies if they want to! I am a kid and Cbeebies is for kids' - good luck in taking that to parliament one day, Thing 1!
I would give anything to spend a day in his shoes, (as him, obviously. I wouldn't like to squeeze my stonking size five adult feet into his relatively small junior size 10's, I could imagine that would make for a rather uncomfortable day to say the least!), I'd love to have that imagination and see the world through Thing-tinted spectacles. Alas, until they invent a body switching machine I shall have to remain completely in the dark as to what actually goes on in his thought process. But he can keep me entertained all the way.
I did indeed look outside and I will admit that the polystyrene looking beads of snow that were falling fast and furious from the wintry sky did also resemble 'cat litter'. I am forever amazed at the workings of the five year old male's brain.
The usual school run was also called for and so all three things found themselves layered up to practically motionless status and we set off a little earlier than usual to account for the usual delay caused by 'must touch snow' syndrome. (From the Things, not myself).
It was a good job that we left the house early as the journey to school took us practically twice as long as usual. This was due to Thing 1 walking backwards and forwards, zigzagging and circling in the snow ...... As we were getting to the critical stage of actually being late for school I eventually had to ask thing 1, rather exasperatedly, what on earth he was doing. The response I got? "If a thief decides to go to our house to steal all the toys, by following our tracks in the snow, now he will get really confused" - and what do you answer to that? Really, the workings of the five year old boys mind is a mystery to me!
Yesterday he found his 'bestest toy ever' on the walk home from school ... A little yellow plastic car with no wheels - obviously the lack of wheels had been the reason for its abandonment by its previous owner. Not so for Thing 1. Indeed, Thing 1 had found a 'hover car', something apparently lacking amongst his wide collection of toys and playthings. It's now sat pride of place on the toy shelf.
This morning he woke me at about 4am with what sounded like a pre-prepared political speech; 'why Is Cbeebies not on at this time? That is very silly! I know it's early but cbeebies is for the kids and I'm a kid. And even if only one kid is awake at this time, then they should be able to watch Cbeebies if they want to! I am a kid and Cbeebies is for kids' - good luck in taking that to parliament one day, Thing 1!
I would give anything to spend a day in his shoes, (as him, obviously. I wouldn't like to squeeze my stonking size five adult feet into his relatively small junior size 10's, I could imagine that would make for a rather uncomfortable day to say the least!), I'd love to have that imagination and see the world through Thing-tinted spectacles. Alas, until they invent a body switching machine I shall have to remain completely in the dark as to what actually goes on in his thought process. But he can keep me entertained all the way.
Monday 4 February 2013
parting the sea of toys and injection day
Thing 3 had a really good nights sleep, so good in fact that I was able to leave her in bed whilst I took Thing 1 to school (hang on, don't phone social services just yet, Things dad was in the house, I didn't leave her in the not entirely capable hands of her 3 year old sister!). She was still asleep when I got back from the school run, albeit the opposite way round to how she was when I left.
Speaking of when I left, Thing 2 had been sat nicely watching cbeebies, upon my return, she had created quite possibly the most impressive 'sea' of toys I've ever seen. My living room was quite literally covered from one wall to the other, the only space I could find to place my feet without standing on musical instruments, kiddie knex or happy land people was inside one of the empty toy boxes. Thing 2 did look rather pleased with herself....
Before long it was time to take Thing 2 to her nursery session (I must point out that Thing 3 had got up by this time and had been causing much chaos). Got to school and saw Thing 1 playing out. He insisted on passing a 'present' through the school fence - a piece of rubbish he'd found but insisted he'd found it especially for me.... Thanks.
Then it was time to take Thing 3 for her injections. I hate having to do that - they're so blissfully unaware until the needle jabs them and then the tears come and they look at me in a way that makes me feel evil... Not so.
Thing 3 did a dance for the nurse, then sat on Thing dad's knee as I'd insisted he held her because then I could blame him when she started sobbing. Nope. First needle went in, she watched intently. Second needle, surely the tears were on their way? Nope. Third needle. Done and dusted. She looked up, grinned broadly at the nurse, gave a little laugh, climbed down from thing dad's knee and resumed her little dance.
I shouldn't really be so surprised ... Two years back Thing 1 and Thing 2 had injections on the same day. Thing 1 his pre-school booster and thing 2, her 12 month jabs. Took them both in, Thing 1 went first, two needles. He whimpered a little and there were a couple of tears. Then Thing 2 had hers. Three needles.Tears and sobbing ensued. At the same moment, thing 1 threw himself on the floor inconsolable. Sobbing his little heart out. The reason? He had only had two. It wasn't fair! Thing 2 got to have three Injections and she is littler than him.
I have concluded that the things may be a little odd....
Speaking of when I left, Thing 2 had been sat nicely watching cbeebies, upon my return, she had created quite possibly the most impressive 'sea' of toys I've ever seen. My living room was quite literally covered from one wall to the other, the only space I could find to place my feet without standing on musical instruments, kiddie knex or happy land people was inside one of the empty toy boxes. Thing 2 did look rather pleased with herself....
Before long it was time to take Thing 2 to her nursery session (I must point out that Thing 3 had got up by this time and had been causing much chaos). Got to school and saw Thing 1 playing out. He insisted on passing a 'present' through the school fence - a piece of rubbish he'd found but insisted he'd found it especially for me.... Thanks.
Then it was time to take Thing 3 for her injections. I hate having to do that - they're so blissfully unaware until the needle jabs them and then the tears come and they look at me in a way that makes me feel evil... Not so.
Thing 3 did a dance for the nurse, then sat on Thing dad's knee as I'd insisted he held her because then I could blame him when she started sobbing. Nope. First needle went in, she watched intently. Second needle, surely the tears were on their way? Nope. Third needle. Done and dusted. She looked up, grinned broadly at the nurse, gave a little laugh, climbed down from thing dad's knee and resumed her little dance.
I shouldn't really be so surprised ... Two years back Thing 1 and Thing 2 had injections on the same day. Thing 1 his pre-school booster and thing 2, her 12 month jabs. Took them both in, Thing 1 went first, two needles. He whimpered a little and there were a couple of tears. Then Thing 2 had hers. Three needles.Tears and sobbing ensued. At the same moment, thing 1 threw himself on the floor inconsolable. Sobbing his little heart out. The reason? He had only had two. It wasn't fair! Thing 2 got to have three Injections and she is littler than him.
I have concluded that the things may be a little odd....
Saturday 2 February 2013
How the house became 'baby safe' thanks to a five year old and why chocolate should never be taken into art galleries
Thing 1 woke me early this morning, standing at the side of the bed, saying 'ahem.... AHEM' and then putting his freezing cold hand on my cheek. He then proceeded to show me dismantled pieces of the fire surround;
'I've removed this because if Thing 3 unscrews it then she might try to eat it and choke, I've removed this bit too.....'
I asked him what on earth he was doing and he responded that he was 'baby proofing' the house.....
Only him.....
Unusually, the Things managed to keep themselves entertained for the morning . Playing NICELY together, Thing 1 allowed Thing 3 to play with transformers.... So much for 'baby proofing'! Have you seen the little pieces that come off transformers. One day last week I actually witnessed a Transformers massacre- not a single transformer was left intact. There were limbs everywhere. It was very traumatic.
But, alas, the playing nicely couldn't last. All to soon Thing 2 was making it a mission to wind up Thing 1. The most effective way she discovered was to prod him in the eyes whilst he tried to watch his DVD. I decided to march Thing 2 and Thing 3 out of the house to go for a walk.
We popped into our cousins to drop off some stuff. Thing 3 decided it was fun to keep trying to climb the stairs and laughing at me trying to catch her.
We took a stroll into the local village where Thing 2 staged a one Thing protest and had a lie-down paddy in the middle of the shop because I said 'no' to sweets. ...
Decided to nip into the art gallery whilst we were nearby. All was fine until Thing 2 decided she needed to use the toilet, twice (I think she liked the fancy soap). Then Thing 3 proceeded to mush chocolate into the carpet. I had tried to take said chocolate off her before we went in but she threatened tears and so i let her keep hold of it. Mortified doesn't even cover my feelings at leaping into action to remove said chocolate from the gallery floor, whilst seemingly changed into slow motion. Hustled the two girls Things out of the gallery sharpish and headed home.
Got back in and Thing 2 resumed her seat next to thing 1 and his eyeballs, thing 3 started crying .... Some days it seems that you just can't teach a Thing.
'I've removed this because if Thing 3 unscrews it then she might try to eat it and choke, I've removed this bit too.....'
I asked him what on earth he was doing and he responded that he was 'baby proofing' the house.....
Only him.....
Unusually, the Things managed to keep themselves entertained for the morning . Playing NICELY together, Thing 1 allowed Thing 3 to play with transformers.... So much for 'baby proofing'! Have you seen the little pieces that come off transformers. One day last week I actually witnessed a Transformers massacre- not a single transformer was left intact. There were limbs everywhere. It was very traumatic.
But, alas, the playing nicely couldn't last. All to soon Thing 2 was making it a mission to wind up Thing 1. The most effective way she discovered was to prod him in the eyes whilst he tried to watch his DVD. I decided to march Thing 2 and Thing 3 out of the house to go for a walk.
We popped into our cousins to drop off some stuff. Thing 3 decided it was fun to keep trying to climb the stairs and laughing at me trying to catch her.
We took a stroll into the local village where Thing 2 staged a one Thing protest and had a lie-down paddy in the middle of the shop because I said 'no' to sweets. ...
Decided to nip into the art gallery whilst we were nearby. All was fine until Thing 2 decided she needed to use the toilet, twice (I think she liked the fancy soap). Then Thing 3 proceeded to mush chocolate into the carpet. I had tried to take said chocolate off her before we went in but she threatened tears and so i let her keep hold of it. Mortified doesn't even cover my feelings at leaping into action to remove said chocolate from the gallery floor, whilst seemingly changed into slow motion. Hustled the two girls Things out of the gallery sharpish and headed home.
Got back in and Thing 2 resumed her seat next to thing 1 and his eyeballs, thing 3 started crying .... Some days it seems that you just can't teach a Thing.
Friday 1 February 2013
How I've set myself up for mayhem and how Thing 3 is so not ready for potty training
Last night I booked a holiday. We are going to Cornwall. things' dad's childhood holiday destination. I will admit that having dealt with almost 7 years of him going on about Cornwall it probably was about time I submitted and booked it....
The catch?
There were no caravans available. In a moment of mummy madness, a 'safari tent' looked ace. Seriously, I just want to see how it's possible to get 'double bed, single bed and bunk beds' into a tent ...... I also booked for two weeks .... I've never booked a holiday for so long, in fact our first holiday together was last year .... And only four nights .... If it was dreadful I had the mantra; only 4 nights, only three to go, only 2 to go ......
I'm sure the kids will love a tenting holiday.... I phoned up today .... I'm going to have to share one plug socket with things dad and things ..... There are Nintendo DS's to charge, phones, cameras, laptops, iPods .... This may be a seriously back to nature adventure .... We have to be careful as to what we plug in so we don't knock out the entire Cornish electric supply out of touch. I checked the carpark distance from said tent (I blamed things' dad's medical condition but really I panicked about how far I'd have to walk with my five suitcases.... ). I am thinking I may have to leave some shoes at home (I took a bagful when we were staying in a caravan), I'm actually terrified of packing ... Usually I'm ecstatic and giddy and start packing ... Ummm.... 4 month to go? Packing should've started 3 week ago .....
There won't be toilets in a tent .... Things's dad told me AFTER I'd booked ....I hadn't thought about these things (I never do) but seriously?! Two things getting up in the night to pee... I am so not trekking across a field....
Incidentally, Thing 3's latest hobby is putting stuff in the toilet .... Yesterday it was a trainer and the bath plug, today it was a toothbrush and a bottle of shampoo .... I'm not fishing these things out of a communal loo !
The catch?
There were no caravans available. In a moment of mummy madness, a 'safari tent' looked ace. Seriously, I just want to see how it's possible to get 'double bed, single bed and bunk beds' into a tent ...... I also booked for two weeks .... I've never booked a holiday for so long, in fact our first holiday together was last year .... And only four nights .... If it was dreadful I had the mantra; only 4 nights, only three to go, only 2 to go ......
I'm sure the kids will love a tenting holiday.... I phoned up today .... I'm going to have to share one plug socket with things dad and things ..... There are Nintendo DS's to charge, phones, cameras, laptops, iPods .... This may be a seriously back to nature adventure .... We have to be careful as to what we plug in so we don't knock out the entire Cornish electric supply out of touch. I checked the carpark distance from said tent (I blamed things' dad's medical condition but really I panicked about how far I'd have to walk with my five suitcases.... ). I am thinking I may have to leave some shoes at home (I took a bagful when we were staying in a caravan), I'm actually terrified of packing ... Usually I'm ecstatic and giddy and start packing ... Ummm.... 4 month to go? Packing should've started 3 week ago .....
There won't be toilets in a tent .... Things's dad told me AFTER I'd booked ....I hadn't thought about these things (I never do) but seriously?! Two things getting up in the night to pee... I am so not trekking across a field....
Incidentally, Thing 3's latest hobby is putting stuff in the toilet .... Yesterday it was a trainer and the bath plug, today it was a toothbrush and a bottle of shampoo .... I'm not fishing these things out of a communal loo !
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